No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize