well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
where am i from again
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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