No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
