And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
