i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
