My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
organizing the empties. That sober.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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