Your face is a jimmy john
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
