Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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