I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
