Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
