So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
