the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
