We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
