My first STD was from a foam party
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
