hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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