NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
