I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
