Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
