maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
