I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
