Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
