Someone shit on the floor
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
