it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
