im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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