East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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