no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
