i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
