ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sobbing to NWA
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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