I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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