I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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