i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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