Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
