I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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