don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
