I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You took a bar mat shot.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
