What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
