Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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