It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
