I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
