i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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