I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
