Can Purell be used as lube?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
