i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
