it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize