ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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