I haven't been this sober since birth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
