This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize