its not stalking. its research.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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