He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ladies don't puke and tell
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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