I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize