It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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