I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize