im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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