When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I need moral support for this bender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize