what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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