I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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