Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
