Nicole vs. Life
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
