would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm really busy with my period
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