I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
